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It’s Wednesday again! And do you know what that means? Screw humpday… It mean’s Robp33n Wednesday!!
Our very own h00rfessor of p33nology Stephanie will lead you through this day!
“I want to say yes just so nervous to dissapoint, give me a day to think on it but most likely will try, if I suck u can fire me.” -Stephanie on her new joboffer.
My answer? “We all know you suck exceptionally well, thus you are offered this job in the first place.”
PLEASE ONLY CONTINUE IF YOU’RE AT LEAST 18 YEARS OLD AND NOT AT WORK ATM! I’M SERIOUS!
Ahhhh text messages…I don’t know what I’d do without them. I know, not a subject we normally cover on Rob P33n Wednesday but since we haven’t caught a glimpse of the deliciousness lately I’m gonna stick with this topic for today. Now, I think everyone that knows me knows I have a naughty personality, naughty in a good way of course. So when I get a text from a co-worker the other day that was meant for someone else I had to fuck with her, it was too good to pass up. I’ve decided to share with you all one of the funniest conversations I’ve had. Keep in mind, she thought she was texting a friend, and I will change her names for her privacy…
Karen: hey momma what you been up too?
Me: ummm, not much, how bout you?
Karen: Shit, trying to find an apartment, you still in East Bumble (made up town name again to protect her privacy)
Me: yeah, where you looking?
Karen: East Bumble, help me find a cheap 2 bedroom in or around the area, I’m trying to find one.
Me: I’ll look around. What else is going on?
Karen: shit, bored out of my mind. What are you doing this weekend?
Me: don’t know yet, might go buy a monkey and film a porno.
Me: wanna come?
Karen: Sure, where?
Me: The monkey is in South Bumble (again, changing town names for privacy) and the porn shoot is in North Bumble, you down?
Karen: Sure, y not
Me: cool, do you have a clown suit?
Karen: (no reply)
Me: bitch, you got a clown suit or not??
Karen: oh, no, sorry, I’m at work. No need to be all hostile, lol
Me: Shit, I need one, they are gonna pay me good money for this clown porn
Karen: wait, you’re in the porn shoot?
Me: yeah, and I need a friend, do you have hooker boots? I’m supposed to be a clown hooker.
Me: and btw, can you baby-sit the monkey, I can’t keep him at my house
Karen: yeah, I have hooker boots, what size are you?
Karen: let me check with my husband…omg I only have size 7.5
Karen: till when?
Me: your husband wears hooker boots? That’s pretty fucked up.
Me: Oh, you mean about the monkey? Lol. Maybe for like a week, in case we need to do re-shoots.
Me: he’s house trained, he’ll sleep in bed with you. He’s not too big, only like 250 lbs.
Karen: go to the sex shop, they have hooker boots. Let me check with my gramma about the monkey, we are staying with her, she might not let me.(Now here I really start to worry…is she really going to ask her husband and her gramma this?? WTF LOL)
Me: oh shit, don’t tell her, just hide him, he doesn’t smell too bad. How’s her vision, maybe just dress him like a person.
Karen: it’s kinda hard, she goes into my room. Wait the monkey is for the porn? Is someone fucking the monkey? I’m NOT FUCKING NO MONKEY!! You’re shot out!
Me: if I don’t bring a friend they’ll kill me
Karen: I’ll see if Betty (again name change) can do it. (Again, I’m worried, does she have a friend that she thinks would fuck a monkey????!!!!!)
Me: shit, I don’t want her to know. NO, nobody is fucking the monkey. Damn, that’s pretty sick, and you think I’m shot out?? You’re gross!! But can you balance on a big ball while juggling and giving head??
Karen: no, I’m not doing that!
Me: damn girl, help a sister out, I would do it for you!
At this point she stopped replying…ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!! I did let her in on it later that day, first she laughed, then she got pissed, but luckily now she’s over it. Sorry, but it was the funniest thing EVER!!! Lmao!!!
Moral of the story…be careful when texting, and even more careful when texting me
Sticking with the animal / Circus theme, how about some WFE Rob porn…
BTW, hope everyone had a good St. Patty’s day, this was me at the end of the night…