You tell 'em Ariel!

The peeps over 18 follow me… you others just skip this post mk?

Everyone under 18 better get out nao!

Me, every time I watch porn... lol

Porntastic,

— Still Alive | Twilight by triinu127

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— Breaking dawn – Breathe into me by TheRaggDolliish

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— Edward & Bella – You and I…We were born to die by  DulsitaProduction

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Love Robward,

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So ladies, I had this idea and I thought I’d share it with you. I’ve been with you fellow h00rs for a while now and decided to come clean that Sir Rob of the Hotness isn’t the only one who has my attention.

Here are the other people that have been taking my attention aswell.

David Tennant. His Scottish accent just does things to me. He could read the dictionary or even the damn alphabet and you bet I would listen to him.

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Alan Smith. Plays for Newcastle United and is just so yummy. I don’t know if it’s the whole bloke-y footballer thing but jeez man!

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Shane West. Oh my Landon Carter, look at you now.

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Shawn Michaels. {Guy at front} This has been my longest commitment to anyone ever. This started when I was about 8 and is still going strong 17 years later. Sadly he’s retired now though which kind of sucks.

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John Barrowman. The nicest campest man I have ever met. He also shares the Scottish accent too.

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Michael Buble. This man’s voice is like the sh*t! Underneath that innocent looking exterior he has such a dirty mouth. It’s great haha

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Milo Ventimiglia. I think it’s the whole bad boy reputation going on. I can’t help myself.

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Chad Michael Murray. Lucas Scott. God that man is just so gorgeous I can’t handle it.

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Jackson Rathbone. Mmmmmm…… Jackson. Yummy Jackson.

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I’m not so sure about this bloke. It’s someone called Robert Pattinson. I haven’t heard of him before. I think he must be quite new.

So that’s all the men in my life and sadly Rob does share the time with 9 other men but ahhh screw it.

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Bleriana side note: Thank you Kim. For this post and especially for showing me what a slut I am. 10 guys? Only TEN? Dood my list was 3 times yours! =P

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Oh it's all your fault Fassy. All yours...

If you haven’t figured out what movie I am talking about by now, let me help you. Apparantly there’s a movie out there called >Shame< featuring Michael Fassbender (is this guy of european origin?) who supposedly has a big cock is really hawt.

No idea about that because in the google pics I saw of him he didn’t really seem my type, but on the other hand Brad Pitt isn’t my type on googlepics either. But he so does it for me in “Mr & Mrs Smith” *shrugs*. He portrays a guy living in NYC who is a sex addict and I think that’s about all you need to know. Oh and Carrey Mulligan is in it.

From what I’ve heard it is a really good movie, not just because of all the sex’n'stuff but because Michael’s performance was pretty impressive.

Since my search was unsuccessful and I have no idea when or if the movie will be released in germany (update it will be out on the 1st of March… WTF?), I have to rely on you h00rs to tell me what’s up with this movie.

Is Michael’s performance really as gigandick as people make it out to be?

Is the whole subject of sex addiction only an excuse to sell a soft porn to the audience as a cinema movie or does it indeed have a deep meaning?

Imagining him looking at me like this right now...

Is this movie really so good it should have been nom’d for an Oscar? (Btw WTF is up with no nomination for Ryan Gosling?)

Whoever has seen it, leave me a comment below and tell me how you liked it; whoever hasn’t seen it yet but actually could, go to the cinema and report back!

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Michael doesn’t need an oscar, he already has a 12 inch statue *wink wink*,

p.s. Can Rob pretty please do a movie like this in the near future?

Since we’re all still pretty stressed from voting our asses off for Cosmopolis to win the MTV Movie Brawl (which it won btw; hope Rob finally realizes it’s not just about Edward!) I thought that I should post this little game just for shits and giggles. Because -sadly- we’re not sitting in Robp0rn Inc. Offices -where we could actually do these- but are stuck in RL jobs that can be quite annoying sometimes.

So during a boring lunch break a few of my ex-co-workers and me came up with this stupidity below. You ready? Here we go!!

-The following text has been translated from german and might not make sense sometimes. I suck at translating.-

This is how the game works: You get points for certain actions. Who’s gathered the most by the end of the day wins. Let us take a look at the point system.

1 Point for

• Running around all the tables in the Office full speed.
• Moaning and sighing in the bathroom when at least one other person is present.
• Ignoring the first 5 colleagues who wish you a “Good Morning”.
• Calling a co-worker you don’t know and tell him that “I just wanted to tell you I don’t have time to talk right now.” and hang up.
• Signaling the end of a conversation by holding your palms against your ears.
• Walking around with your pants’ zipper open for at least an hour.
• Cancelling everyone’s attempt to point this out to you with “I prefer it this way”.
• Walking every way from and to the copier crabwise.
• Taking a deep breath very loudly every time the elevator doors open.

3 Points for

• Telling your Boss “You’re cool!” while imitating shooting pistols with your fingers.
• Blathering incoherently to a trainee and asking “Did you understand everything? I hate to repeat myself.”
• Calling yourself out over the loudspeakersystem without disguising your voice.
• Loudly calling out numbers into the room when someone is counting something.

5 Points for

• Suggesting that you all hold hands and pray after a meeting is over. Double your points by beginning the prayer.
• Going to a workaholics room in the evening and switch their lights on and off while they’re sitting at their desk.
• Calling everyone that you have a conversation with “Herbert” for an hour straight.
• Excusing yourself loudly during a meeting because you “Have to shit a brick.”
• Ending every sentence with “dood”. “The report is on your table, dood.”. Last at least an hour.
• Shifting your workmates seat upwards when he is absent for a moment.
• Head-desking during a meeting all the while murmuring “Can’t you all just shut the fuck up? I’d be really thankful for a bit of quietness.”
• Writing “How do you like me in tights?” into a co-workers schedule.
• Carrying your keyboard to your next colleague and ask him to trade keyboards with you.
• Having the following conversation with at least 10 different colleagues: “Did you hear?” – “Hear what?” – “Never mind! Not important.”
• Coming to work in your army apparel and telling the people asking for a reason “I am not allowed to talk about it.”
• Talking with a heavy accent in a very important phone-conference.
• Letting toilet paper hang from the back of your pants. Acting surprised when someone points it out.
• Bringing cookies and coffee to a meeting, only to crumble each and every cookie with your hand.
• Moving closer to the door slowly during a metting.
• Lining up Playmobil figures according to the seating arrangement and moving the figure representing the person talking.

You have no idea how hard it was to translate this… And all that for a good laugh. Hope you ladies enjoyed!

Office Games ftw,

DID YOU HEAR IT ALREADY?

Did you hear the holy news that made my heart sing and my pervy mind run away with ideas?

Here’s a little refresher:

BEL AMI WOLDPREMIERE IN BERLIN, GERMANY!!!

There is still a part of me that does not believe this news. Like at all. I mean how surreal is this anyway? I will probably get to see Bel Ami before anyone else does!! *squees* OMG YOU H00RS! I will get to see Robbutt sooner than I thought I would!

I can’t stop OMG-ing… Srsly.

This is me right now. Honestly. And it has been throughout the weekend!

BUT is it terrible that I am more excited about the Movie than Rob himself? Maybe that has something to do with the fact that his presence was not yet confirmed and I’m trying not to get too overexcited over a possible non-attendance. But it’s the fucking worldpremiere!! Where the Zef else should he be? Or maybe it’s the fact that I don’t know yet if I will actually get my hands on tickets for the premiere or just the movie. Either way, I am excited beyond words and had to share this excitement with you all!

*mf squee*

Omg I am so sorry h00rs, but I was superbusy triggering my carpal tunnel syndrome with clicking the vote button for Cosmopolis at the MTV poll:

http://polldaddy.com/p/5859143

GO VOTE UNTIL YOUR FINGERS BLEED! You can vote until they tell you to “cool off” and then you can go at it again… lol

Ok so now that I made the traditional excuses and apologies for being a bloggerfail, let’s get back on topic.

PullMyDaisy2 owes me those few hours of sleep because she was the one to recommend it to me (she is soon becoming my new fanfic dealer) and holdmeRansom owes me some sleep because she is the author of

Edward's a sex addict resisting treatment, Bella's a girl who just wants to get laid already. What happens when they get paired up for a Biology Project? Bio Lab could get interesting...

Have to admit, I was sceptical at first. I thought she’d use Edwards sex addiction as an excuse to write tons of lemons. Not that theres something wrong with that but ever since reading cherry_blossomz‘s Righteous and Wicked I prefer the UST filled type of sex addict. To quote Cherry: “Food tastes better when you’re hungry right?”

Imagine my surprise when I decided to give it a try (because really PullMyDaisy2 never recommends something bad) and ended up LOVING IT!! So much I was awake ALL NIGHT READING!! Which only happens when I really lurve a fic so much I have to keep reading. Even though it will be with like half an eye because the other one has fallen asleep and the other one wants to follow it’s lead.

Edward is (trying) sooo hard *twss* to behave and I feel kinda bad about wanting him to missbehave but we all know in fact I really don’t. He is a cutiepie and a perv all wrapped in one. Perfect h00r boytoy material, but might be not suitable for virgins!

Bella… Well actually I can identify myself with her quite a lot. Not because I am currently interested in a weird boy that sports boners in biology class, but because she is a virgin that wants to be fucked already. TMI? Yeah, I thought so.

TBP updates daily (the best kind of updates imo) but WARNING: You will drop EVERYTHING and run to read the update or lock yourself up in the toilet at work or in a restaurant/bar out with friends just to do so. 100% guarantee’d. If you’re not happy with your purchase you get your money the time you spent on this blog back. Or actually not; at least you got to listen to some nice music while being here… lol

Big plus (at least for me): SoLostInTwilight is actually the author of In Your World aswell which I have heard a lot about but haven’t had the chance to read yet. I guess it will move a few spots up my TBR list now

Last but not least, MelbieToast made some MGBward porn for us to enjoy..

Is anyone else thinking of this now??

What are you waiting for?

GO READ THE BIOLOGY PROJECT

FOLLOW HOLDMERANSOM ON TWITTER 

I always loved Biology,

— damon salvatore; tainted love [w/zenitka96] by BasyaBasechka

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— song of my soul by lostalongthewayy

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— tate + violet | I gave you all by uglypeoplee

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— :: Edward & Bella :: The Taste Is Such To Die For :: by Catushka

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— Skinny Love by Sparralex

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— Robert -Mad About You- by DUKKESA31

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*stares at the screen in awe*

The jizztyping made me think of autocorrects and how much I love to laugh at them. Enjoy a few with me please.

Aaawkwarddd

*le sigh* The love siblings share...

Aaawkwarddd take II

Well I'd run if I were Michelle aswell... Hey that rhymed!

10 bucks she actually meant FAP but awaited the reaction and then texted herself out of it?

My Wifey Stephs will so love this! BWAHAHA

Aubs, you filthy filthy h00r... hehehehe

Despite how funny this is, I can't help but have pictures from a certain secret FB group's page running through my mind...

Idk what's funnier. That a girl ordered pussy or that she tweeted her mum about it... lmfao! #WhatAWayToFindOutYourDaughterIsALesbian

Happens to me all the time...

Posted this before but it still makes me lol

Awwwww!!

Who else was thinking of Mickey Rourke when they read Mickey Manboobs? lmfao!

And I saved the best three for last. I can’t breathe by now already!

Note to myself: Take the xbox away from my brother...

Actually this one is supercute =)

I wanna go to this petting zoo aswell... hehehe

Thank God it’s Friday,

p.s. Just cos I can’t stop looking…

I want to say yes just so nervous to dissapoint, give me a day to think on it but most likely will try, if I suck u can fire me.” -Stephanie on her new joboffer.

My answer? “We all know you suck exceptionally well, thus you are offered this job in the first place.

PLEASE ONLY CONTINUE IF YOU’RE AT LEAST 18 YEARS OLD AND NOT AT WORK ATM! I’M SERIOUS!

So I gave Stephs the order to take a day off. Mainly because she is ill and thus called in sick this p33nday (read: I told her that I want to take over this time). So now that the Queen de p33n is away us h00rs de p33n will play…

But I am kind of out of shape so bear with me mk?

Let’s start off with some foreplay… Aka us watching some p0rn…

Hold on… Can we focus on this particular shot, please?

OMFG I can’t stop watching this… *le drool* Uhm… Here’s the deal, Rob…

I need you to let me do this like really really badly mk?

But apparantly not enough because shortly afterwards, I discovered this…

     — I was wondering the same too…

And somehow oddly disturbing Kellan Lutz made an appearance after the Geoducks too…

He even had a note for me! It read: Safe this Kellanp0rn…

And last but not least Rob came again *twss* for the deathblow… and some insider info…

Who exactly likes to hold what Rob? Pervy inquiring minds want to know...

I’m sure you remember this insider info (every h00r should have it saved in her brain…)

 Summary of this post: Geoducks look like p33ns in a box, I want to bang Rob more than before and I can’t stop watching that gif. It’s like it’s hypnotizing me or something… Let us take a look at it again for good times mk?

At least I mentioned some p33n here and there,