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Since we’re all still pretty stressed from voting our asses off for Cosmopolis to win the MTV Movie Brawl (which it won btw; hope Rob finally realizes it’s not just about Edward!) I thought that I should post this little game just for shits and giggles. Because -sadly- we’re not sitting in Robp0rn Inc. Offices -where we could actually do these- but are stuck in RL jobs that can be quite annoying sometimes.

So during a boring lunch break a few of my ex-co-workers and me came up with this stupidity below. You ready? Here we go!!

-The following text has been translated from german and might not make sense sometimes. I suck at translating.-

This is how the game works: You get points for certain actions. Who’s gathered the most by the end of the day wins. Let us take a look at the point system.

1 Point for

  • Running around all the tables in the Office full speed.
  • Moaning and sighing in the bathroom when at least one other person is present.
  • Ignoring the first 5 colleagues who wish you a “Good Morning”.
  • Calling a co-worker you don’t know and tell him that “I just wanted to tell you I don’t have time to talk right now.” and hang up.
  • Signaling the end of a conversation by holding your palms against your ears.
  • Walking around with your pants’ zipper open for at least an hour.
  • Cancelling everyone’s attempt to point this out to you with “I prefer it this way”.
  • Walking every way from and to the copier crabwise.
  • Taking a deep breath very loudly every time the elevator doors open.

3 Points for

  • Telling your Boss “You’re cool!” while imitating shooting pistols with your fingers.
  • Blathering incoherently to a trainee and asking “Did you understand everything? I hate to repeat myself.”
  • Calling yourself out over the loudspeakersystem without disguising your voice.
  • Loudly calling out numbers into the room when someone is counting something.

5 Points for

  • Suggesting that you all hold hands and pray after a meeting is over. Double your points by beginning the prayer.
  • Going to a workaholics room in the evening and switch their lights on and off while they’re sitting at their desk.
  • Calling everyone that you have a conversation with “Herbert” for an hour straight.
  • Excusing yourself loudly during a meeting because you “Have to shit a brick.”
  • Ending every sentence with “dood”. “The report is on your table, dood.”. Last at least an hour.
  • Shifting your workmates seat upwards when he is absent for a moment.
  • Head-desking during a meeting all the while murmuring “Can’t you all just shut the fuck up? I’d be really thankful for a bit of quietness.”
  • Writing “How do you like me in tights?” into a co-workers schedule.
  • Carrying your keyboard to your next colleague and ask him to trade keyboards with you.
  • Having the following conversation with at least 10 different colleagues: “Did you hear?” – “Hear what?” – “Never mind! Not important.”
  • Coming to work in your army apparel and telling the people asking for a reason “I am not allowed to talk about it.”
  • Talking with a heavy accent in a very important phone-conference.
  • Letting toilet paper hang from the back of your pants. Acting surprised when someone points it out.
  • Bringing cookies and coffee to a meeting, only to crumble each and every cookie with your hand.
  • Moving closer to the door slowly during a metting.
  • Lining up Playmobil figures according to the seating arrangement and moving the figure representing the person talking.

You have no idea how hard it was to translate this… And all that for a good laugh. Hope you ladies enjoyed!

Office Games ftw,